An annual household debate: What makes something a Christmas movie? If airing on Hallmark post-Thanksgiving or starring a singing/dancing Bing Crosby, the genre designation is obvious. But if it merely takes place during the season, does it count? Will it have the same joyous spirit or feel-goodness of “real” Christmas movies?

We decided to tackle the on-the-bubble movies and bring the debate to you.

Christmas clichés:

Hate Becomes Love
Kooky Grandma Figure
Cute, Precocious Child
Carolers

Our take

Not A Christmas Movie!

We don’t know what we watched, but it (“Holidate”) was not a Christmas movie.

Sullen, solo Sloane (Emma Roberts, pretty solid) is sick of sitting at the kid’s table and being set up by her mother. Taking advice from her Kooky Aunt (Kristen Chenoweth, completely misused), she agrees to be a platonic date to every holiday with a fellow commitment-phobe, Jackson (Luke Bracey, pretty OK).

This obvious Hate Becomes Love storyline covers every holiday in the course of a year. But while it starts and ends on the holiday of Christmas, it has none of the fun festiveness that’s required for a classic.

It’s not just the lack of clichés. Look at “The Mistle-tones”—a unique plot that shines without the usual formula. And it’s not just the modern twist where young folk buck tradition. Take “No Sleep ‘Til Christmas”—a little sassy but still enough warmth to warrant a watch.

What makes this movie so not a Christmas movie is that it’s crass, unfunny, and has no heart. Our main characters have zero depth, and many plot points left us confused. What kind of professional athlete doesn’t smoke or eat chocolate because of his health but drinks heavily and plays with fireworks?!? (He deserved to lose that finger.)

Yes, our harsh take might make us Grinches. But there’s a reason we love this genre. We are snarky, judgy people most of the time…but during Christmas, we believe in good. And “Holidate” isn’t good.

And it’s not a Christmas movie.